You're My Home CSSS17
by resident-of-storybrooke
Summary: The darkness might have been taken out of Captain Swan, but somethings cannot be fixed so easily. Can they move onto the next step in their relationship or is this the end of their not so traditional romance? My CSSS17 gift!


**AN: This is my CS Secret Santa gift, thank you cssecretsanta for organizing all of this! Also, thanks to my dear friend Lydia (Rouhn) for being the best and being my beta for this! I am very excited to finally reveal my identity,** **once-a-superwholockianwizard I am very happy to be your Secret Santa! It's been a blast getting to know you more throughout the process, and I look forward to future chats! I hope you enjoy your gift! Happy holiday love!**

 **This takes place after the darkness has been taken out of both CS, let us call this a canon divergence, eh? A bit of angst, a dash of fluff, and a happy beginning (perhaps?). You know the drill loves, drop a review if you'd be so kind, come harass me on Tumblr while you're at it!**

 **Finally...happy holidays, I hope however and with whomever you choose to spend this time with that you have a merry time. Thank you OUAT fandom for making this truly a special year for me, I'll see you beautiful souls in the new year. All the love!**

Emma still found it a bit unnerving to be in the house, their house. Although, it didn't feel like their house yet. It didn't help that most of Killian's belongings were still on the Jolly Roger, Emma hadn't asked him to move in, yet. Plus, there were still stark reminders of their times as the Dark Ones before their trip to the Underworld.

She cringed at the thought, everything that had happened and that was said between them. Emma thought she had lost her chance of her happy ending, again, when she had to leave him there. The elevator ride was the most painful moment of her life. Even worse than the times Killian had died, maybe because she knew somehow, he'd always come back, he was a survivor after all. But then? Then she thought that was really the end of their love story. Thank god - eh Zeus - that it wasn't the end though.

They hadn't really talked about what had happened, granted it had only been a few days and they were separated by another damn portal, still, they needed to talk. Wow, Emma Swan wanting to talk out her issues? Needless to say, Killian Jones truly brought out a different side of her.

She made her way over to the kitchen, although infamous for her lack of cooking skills, she decided she wanted to make something special for Killian. She figured it would help ease their way into the difficult night ahead. While racking her brain of something to make, she remembered that even though he was a seafaring man, he did love Italian food, and she just so happened to have the ingredients to make them some chicken parmesan. She had a few hours to put everything together before he would be home.

Since their return, he decided it would be "good form" to get a job and help be a law-abiding citizen, especially since he fancied the sheriff and wanted to get in her good graces. He took Henry with him to the docks to help make sure all the ships' licenses were up to code. She was thankful that after everything, Henry and Killian still seemed close. She knew he missed his father, but it was nice for him to have Killian to look up to as a... pirate.

Before Emma put the chicken into the oven she got a text from Snow, asking if they wanted to go out for dinner, but Emma told her that she and Killian were having a night in. Snow offered to take Henry for the night, but Emma informed her that he was spending the weekend at Regina's house. Since her split from the Evil Queen, she's been on edge and Henry helped her.

Emma looked up at the clock, she still had about half an hour left, she set everything on low and decided to change into something a bit nicer than sweats. When she went upstairs the first dress she pulled out was the pink dress she had worn on their first date. She smiled at the memory, but then she remembered. That wasn't the only time she had worn the dress, she had poofed it on when they were on his ship when he had told her, he **had** loved her. She pressed her lips into a thin line, a single tear slipped from her eye, only by thinking about that evening. Suddenly she heard the front door open. She shook her head slightly and tried to get it together. The one glass of wine she had while cooking had not prepared her for this night. Maybe she should've had a swig of rum.

"Swan? Are you home? Where are you, love?" She could hear the worry in his voice, it was a common occurrence around the house. Maybe one day they wouldn't have to fear about the others' life as much.

"Yeah, I'm upstairs. I'll be right down!" She decided to forgo a dress, instead she went with some jeans and a violet V-neck shirt that made her eyes pop ever so slightly. Emma rushed downstairs hoping he did not spoil her dinner surprise. However, she was surprised herself, when she saw he had a Granny's to-go bag in his hand. Seemed as though they both had the same idea for the night.

"Hello there, love. I thought I would try and help out with dinner, but it seems as though you beat me to it." He reached up and scratched his ear, a nervous tick of his she desperately missed seeing.

"I was trying to surprise you with a nice dinner, but we can-", he cut her off with a kiss.

"No, Swan, this looks perfect. Thank you, darling." A quick blush graced her face, she took a few quick strides over to the kitchen to make their plates.

Dinner was-, well, it was downright awkward. Usually, the silence between them wasn't so uncomfortable, but both knew where this evening was leading to and neither wanted to start off. Killian tried to lessen the tension by mentioning how Mr. Haydock's license was expired and it was Henry who caught it, but Emma had enough.

"Killian, I killed you." Not exactly the elegant touch she was going for, but when did Emma Swan ever shy away from being blunt?

"Aye Swan, that you did, only after I told you to. You wouldn't have needed to do that if I hadn't given into the darkness." The shame overflowing from his face, the disgust in his voice evident.

"Yeah, well if I had listened to you and not turned you into the Dark One or lied about Excalibur that wouldn't have happened." She didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, she couldn't look at him at all. She finished her glass of wine and poured a rather healthy amount back into her glass. This conversation was only beginning and Emma knew she shouldn't be drunk for it, but she needed some liquid courage.

"Emma, I'm not going to play this "what-if" game with you all night. Aye?" Emma shook her head, knowing that this was going to get them nowhere if they just kept at it. "Emma, please look at me," his smile failed to reach his eyes, "I have done unspeakable things during my life, but nothing as heinous as what I did as the Dark One. I put everyone you love in danger, because of my thirst for revenge. I don't expect you to forgive me anytime soon." He took a deep breath, finally he searched for her eyes. "Maybe, uh, I think it'll be better if I left for a little."

Emma's head shot up again with his last statement. "You- you're kidding, right?" Killian didn't even bother to try and look her in the eyes, she could see he was holding back tears. "After everything, you're the one who's going to run? That's rich, Hook." She spat out his moniker back at him, not feeling an ounce of guilt.

"Emma, please, I have caused so much pain I need to leave you, let you heal without a constant reminder of who ruined your life." He didn't even wait for her rebottle, instead, he got up from his chair, walked over to the coat rack for his leather jacket (the one Emma had bought him), and without even looking back at her walked out the door.

Staring at the now closed door, she couldn't hold back anymore, the tears came rushing out. Emma thought she had cried out all her tears after he died, but somehow there were still some left in her. Her sobs turned into her convulsing on the couch. No matter what she tried she could not seem to get in control of herself. Instead of fighting it she let it all out, there was no need to hide now. Growing up, Emma thought crying, hell showing any emotion, made her weak, but she has learned that it's healthy to let it out. Granted she wished she was expressing happier emotions, but she knew she needed to let her body run its course.

 **CSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCS**

She had made him bloody dinner, one of his favorites too. And like the git he was, has he messed it up. Emma, his Swan, wanted to talk. The woman with the walls as high as that damn beanstalk, they once climbed, wanted to communicate, to work through things. But he couldn't though.

Killian was far from forgiving himself for what he had done to her and their - _her_ family. He knew he shouldn't consider himself as a part of the Charming's, he was far from any hero. A hero wouldn't have lied to the woman he loved, hurt her and her family to seek revenge on the bloody crocodile, or have them risk their lives to save him from the blasted Underworld.

Although he shouldn't have walked out on her, he knew that. Killian thought it was a bit late though to turn around, but he needed to be the man Emma knew he could be. So, he walked back to the house. Before he could open the door, he heard her - she was sobbing uncontrollably.

He moved over to the porch and he could see her on the couch. He saw what he had done to her, he was to blame. His own tears started teasing his eyes, he lifted his right hand swatting them away - with no luck. He quickly ran from the house not being able to stand the sight of seeing his true love in so much pain.

They were true love. Dammit. Why was he acting like this? She still loved him, she had told him outside of Granny's after his return. She saw the good in him, she still wanted to be with him after everything.

He needed to go for a walk, to get out of his own head. As he made his way pass Main Street he could see into Granny's, her parents and Neal making their way to the exit. Killian tried to hurry along. He could barely look Emma in the eyes, let alone her parents who he had tried to kill and who had risked their lives several times to save him.

"Oh! Killian!" Dammit. Snow had seen him, he knew better than to try and ignore the royals so he made haste to catch up with them.

"Your majesties, lovely to see you." He gave a short bow and a sly smirk as if that would fool them. Snow shot a look over at David and handed him Neal then, with much more strength than he realized she possessed, took him to the middle of the street by his arm.

"Alright, spill it. What happened? Emma told me you two were having dinner tonight and here you are Emma-less and with tear-stained cheeks." Her voice softened towards the end of her declaration, knowing that tonight had not gone to plan for her daughter and the pirate.

"Aye, no getting by you, is there m'lady?" His charm was failing him yet again., Besides Emma, Snow always could see right through him, maybe she got the lie detector ability from her mother. "It seems as though I have broken my promise I made to you and the Prince all those months ago. I promised I would never hurt Emma, but I did. I also hurt you, your entire family. I never truly apologized for all the mayhem I caused, m'la-Snow, I am sorry. What I did is-"

"Human. Killian, yes you messed up, but you're human. You might've been immortal, but still. It's not your fault, and I'm not saying it's Emma's fault either. You can't beat yourself up for your sins forever, you know?" She grabbed his arm, trying to elicit some sort of response from him.

He looked up at her, tears in both of their eyes now. He didn't know why but suddenly he blurted out with the truth. "I thought it would be better if I gave her space, let her heal in peace without me around, but that was a horrible idea. I hurt her again, tonight. She tried to make us dinner, she wanted to talk, but I ran. I keep hoping I can outrun my past, but it seems as though I'm not fast enough. I don't know what to do, I'm so scared to let her down again." He choked on his last word, Snow then reached out and pulled him into a hug. Although she was significantly shorter than him it felt comfortable, familiar almost.

They just stood there, in the middle of Main Street with Killian finally opening up and letting his emotions spill out from him. Snow never let go, she rubbed his back with such a maternal touch, it caught him off guard. He had gone without a family for so long, but now he was here, hugging Snow White, the mother of his true love. He took a deep breath and stepped back from her, both wiping their eyes.

"Killian, for what it's worth, David and I forgive you. We have for a while, no one holds any ill will against you. You need to stop beating yourself up for something you could not control, okay? As for you and Emma, when people are supposed to be together they'll find a way. Now, go find my daughter, I'll see you both at family dinner tomorrow." His eyes must have shown his shock, he had joined them for dinner plenty of times, but never ones deemed "family dinner". Perhaps he still stood a chance. He walked her over to the truck where David was waiting for the two of them.

"Hey, it'll be okay, mate." Killian didn't expect him to say anything, and although "mate" had been tossed around between the two of them, he looked into David's eyes and saw he was being sincere. For the first time, all night Killian felt a smile grace his face, a sincere one. David did something surprising, he brought him in for a hug. They were a touchy bunch these Charmings, but he would never complain. The hug was significantly shorter than the one experienced with Snow, but yet just as meaningful.

He decided he needed to clear his head properly and figure out how he was going to make everything up to Emma. The docks seemed like the perfect place for him.

 **CSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCS**

After what seemed like ages Emma woke up, she must have passed out after her cry. She looked over at the grandfather clock, it was three in the morning. She should have gone up to the room, but she couldn't imagine going to what was supposed to be their bedroom alone. No one would be up, so she figured her best bet was to go for a walk to try and clear her head.

She shouldn't have been really that surprised that she ended up at the docks. Killian always took her here whenever she was upset. He said it was his job to protect her heart, but right now she felt as though her heart had been ripped from her chest. She knew that there were still a few hours from sunrise, but it was a cool summer night and sitting out here for a while would probably do her some good.

Emma knew she had already forgiven Killian, for everything. She just needed to figure out how to express that to him, before he could run away again. Not that she blamed him for running away. She had run away from the conversation over the last few days, just not physically like he did. As Emma kept walking she noticed a figure sitting in her usual spot, she knew exactly who it was.

"Killian?" She said tentatively, not knowing if he would really want to see her after everything. He turned around startled by her voice, even in the pale moonlight she could see how distraught he was. His eyes rimmed with redness, his hair messier than normal as if he had been running his fingers through it all night.

"Aye, love. What are you doing here at this late hour?" He sounded guilty, knowing that he was the reason she couldn't sleep, which was partially true. She took a few steps towards him looking at him as if she was asking permission to sit down so he swiftly nodded. They sat on the edge of the dock in silence, much like they had done during dinner.

"Killian, I-"

"Emma." Both said at the same time, Killian raised his hand, hoping Emma would let him go first and she did.

"Emma Swan, I feel like I owe you a million apologies. I should have never run out on you like that. I was scared, but that's not good enough of an excuse, nothing is. Your mother and I had a bit of a chat tonight." Emma looked over at him to see if she could read how the conversation between them went. When Killian gave a quick smile, a rush a relief overtook her.

"Your mother said I needed to stop trying to run, that I cannot beat myself up forever for what I have done. Although I understand, I don't know if I can ever forget what I did. But I want to promise you that I will move on and will learn from my past mistakes. I want to be this better man for you, Emma."

She reached over for his hook, holding it as she always did, but Killian still weary flinched at the contact. Emma couldn't handle it anymore, she decided to pull him in for a hug. Both started crying once more, suddenly she realized the last time he saw her cry was when they were in the Underworld saying what they thought was goodbye.

No.

She had to stop living in the past, living in those dreadful moments. Her dad once told her life was made up of moments, good and bad, but that it was worth it all. It was then she decided she was ready to start making some of those good moments.

"Killian," she pulled back from his arms, fear quickly spread across his face, "I am tired of living in the past. You, flaws and all, are the man I want to be with. We can't keep running though. I know I am just as guilty of it, but you come to me Killian, you lean on me, you trust me when things go wrong. We work through things **together**. You said we make quite the team? Let's prove your theory. I still want that future with you, the house the yard, the kids-"

Emma didn't mean to make it slip, but she couldn't lie, watching Killian with Neal made her feel some type of way, something she never expected to feel again. He seemed to have caught that admission and she was surprised to see the pure joy that now danced upon his face. It seemed as though she wasn't the only one who thought about their possible future family.

"I can't promise that this will be easy, there will be times that I drive you crazy and you'll question your sanity, and you'll probably-" for the second time tonight, he had cut her off with a kiss. This kiss, however, was full of promise. Promise for their future, **together**.

"Swan, as much as I'd like to watch the sunrise with you, I think it'd be best if we head back." She looked over at him, a big smile appeared on her face. The man she loved, the man who loved her, he was back. For good.

They walked home, hand in hand just as they had done a million times by this point, but Emma felt different about it. As they walked in silence it was no longer uncomfortable, it was actually quite relaxing. There were no underlying tensions to take away from their moment, their happy moment.

Killian opened the door for her and stepped to the side, always the gentleman, even adding a bow to really sell the moment. Emma stood there watching her true love.

"Move in with me." It wasn't a question, she knew this is what she wanted, what they both wanted. She heard Killian let out a small gasp, his eyes grew wide, and his smile took over his face.

As they walked through the front door Emma felt it, she was home, truly home and that their happiness was just beginning.


End file.
